Life in a metropolis is stress and neurosis. According to WHO, these problems affect up to 25% of the adult population in Europe, and every sixth to seventh among them – no older than 25 years. It would seem that it can agitate a young man to such an extent that he will sleep badly, eat and become withdrawn? There are reasons.
Dreams do not come true
Youth is a tricky time, when all doors seem to be open, only nobody wants to let you in. First you need to prove yourself, prove, achieve, deserve. The saddest thing is that you are showing all your strength and proving what you are capable of, but they send someone to a prestigious internship, elevate a colleague in their posts, and dreams of a beautiful life continue to surpass opportunities.
Not always, but as a rule, envy is a destructive feeling, but in a megacity it is manifested with a vengeance. There are so many people around who have something that you do not have (car, apartment, good job, own business), and only you are a loser who lives with his parents.
In pursuit of opportunities (sometimes ghostly) to equalize them with needs, it is easy to earn insomnia, increased anxiety and apathy.
Where is my betrothed?
Most of the twenty-five-year-olds are behind their studies, they also decided to work with their own hands. It seems to be a good time to look around in search of a life partner, for some reason, everything is not and is not. It is in marriage that they enter and give birth to the child all later and later, but the presence of a permanent partner is still often a measure of social success.
As a rule, at about this age, the school illusions about love forever fall. Yesterday you were sure: if he loves, he must adjust himself, correspond and in general have a lot of things (should). But it turns out that, in the opinion of a partner, you should.
Just yesterday you were sure: this is your second half. And today you find out that you do not have any common topics for conversation or common affairs.
In this case, parents constantly ask: “Do you have a girlfriend?”, “Are not you going to get married?”. Everyone is walking around with their mate! And you are rushing headlong into a new relationship, and if they can not be built, the explanation is simple – “not my” person. Understanding that it is necessary to be able to concede, forgive and adjust, will come, but much later. Meanwhile, both girls and young people are desperately nervous, feeling their own worthlessness and unattractiveness.
Dependence on gadgets
A stable Internet signal and a receiving device are modern components of happiness. The digital generation does not release phones from the hands and almost every second checks the mail and social networks. Is this a vital necessity?
It is more like a neurotic habit: I turned it on, read it, wrote it, turned it off. And a minute later – turned on, read, turned off. And again. Many do not even realize the automatism of actions and, turning off the phone, they immediately forget that they have read.
If the antenna on the device suddenly disappeared, breaking begins, as with any dependency. There is irritability, nervousness – the search for a network begins.
“Some go out of a good hotel, if there is no Internet,” says psychologist Nadezhda Danilova. “The others charge him for crazy money.” And for what? Business requires? No, just to enter the social network, put like. It is important to switch all the time – this is “clip-on thinking”, which allows you to receive information in small pieces. As a result, there is an overload of information, and the head resembles an attic, stuffed with trash mixed with the necessary things. ”
Can not hear anything
Irina is twenty-four years old, she’s a manager in a construction company, but she does not even take out her headphones at work.
“Without them, I’ll just go crazy,” she admits. “That means I’ll have to listen to the stupid music in the minibus, and scraps of other people’s conversations, and squabbling in the subway.” Why do I need someone else’s life? And so, quiet music in the ears – and I’m in the house. ”
For a good mental well-being, a person needs a personal space. One is at arm’s length, another needs more distance. Alas, the metropolis sometimes reduces personal space to a minimum, and the rhythm of the city does not leave time for solitude.
Involuntary involvement in other people’s affairs and the inability to stay in silence and loneliness is an “excellent” field for the formation of neuroses. So headphones with loud music – a kind of protective reaction.
Life on the run
Multitasking, which requires employers, in simplified terms, means the ability to do several things at once. And this applies not only to work.
Suddenly it turns out that you have a lot of duties: you need to pay taxes, then to the bank, then pay utility bills, then insurance. Deadline is not only for a working project, but also for paying for the Internet. Bread and sausage are used to end unexpectedly. But you still have to go to work, meet with friends and loved ones (if, of course, you have them).
How to do it all? – the young man is nervous, having a snack on the move, late for the bank and sitting up late at work. And still not having time. Everyone has neurosis in different ways. Someone in this situation starts a hundred cases at the same time, not bringing them to the end. Someone – ceases to even try to catch something.
Signs of a beginning neurosis
1. Meticulity. The most insignificant trifle – such as the “wrong” question of a colleague or the absence of a favorite dish in a cafe – takes you out of yourself. Just want to tell them how to live. And emotionally, to be sure to understand.
2. Painfulness. You see only the negative about yourself: and friends invited you to the very last, and the place in your parking lot was taken specially. A good and do not notice.
3. The obsession. Just last week, someone said something to you that is not very pleasant. And you all come up with how you should have answered, and rehearse yourself reapplying what you say if the situation repeats. Although your opponent has long forgotten about that incident.
4. Hostility. In any situation, you immediately assume a solid negative. The new boss will necessarily be unfair. Neighbors in the compartment – a talkative aunt and a slovenly uncle. With the Internet, they cheated. And into the world you go out armed with thorns to strike first.
5. Insomnia. Despite the fatigue, you can not fall asleep. Because even in a dream you continue to chew on the problems of the day: who did not look so, or said it, and we should call the provider and quarrel about the quality of mobile communication. So many problems – what a dream!
Is it possible to avoid neuroses?
This question was answered by a psychiatrist, deputy director for curative work of the Scientific Practical Center for Mental Health of Children and Adolescents Peter Bezmenov:
“It’s not easy, but it’s possible. There are two ways for this. The first is to avoid all negativity in life, which in general is almost impossible. The boss will still be unfair, the money will still be missed. And you – still as nervous because of this.
The second way is much more promising – to increase the positive. In fact, it means doing what you like.
Many push their desires into the background in favor of mythical “important matters.” Certainly, obligations must be fulfilled, but also pleasures in life should be present.
If you do not find time for entertainment, specifically highlight it. For example, every day from 7 to 9 pm I communicate with friends, go for fitness or embroider a cross. It does not matter what exactly you do. It is important that this is your personal time for your personal pleasure. And no feelings of guilt about this!
Why is it so important? Yes, because after a good rest, in pleasure, there is a kind of reboot of the psyche. A person reacts more calmly to external stimuli, more easily perceives problems and less dramatizes them. “